Lonewolf's stuff

Rocketman

2007-03-01T18:31:00.000+01:00

Best. Description. Of. Myspace. Ever.

2007-02-21T18:47:00.000+01:00

From one of my favourite websites, Wonkette

MySpace is a wonderful social networking phenomenon in which millions of
~~retarded people~~ regular Americans have their own atrocious
blinking-ad-covered websites, each visually horrific "home page"
bleating out some awful pop music and tagged with the illiterate
gibberish comments (or cut-and-pasted rap lyrics) and half-naked
cam-phone pictures of America's fattest teens. It's a place where
born-again illiterate Jesus freaks, tattooed and pierced illiterate
suburban kids, fake gangsta illiterate urban youth, orange-skinned
horse-faced illiterate high-school dropout gals who aspire to celebrity
sluthood or a career in the Army, violent illiterate psychopathic
"Juggalos" and a bedeviled minority of depressed semi-literate goth &
emo teens in the Midwest all come together to show us what the United
States will be like once the current crop of old people dies off.

How to fake your death

2007-02-19T18:59:00.000+01:00

Sunrise

2007-02-16T17:52:00.000+01:00

Bit of a pretty sunrise this morning

2007-02-15T17:41:00.000+01:00

I saw this on the way home today. It's not just me that has a dirty mind is it?

2007-02-14T17:49:00.000+01:00

And to quote the great Mr Ellis:

Always remember: Valentine's Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens.

2007-02-11T21:48:00.001+01:00

2007-02-10T21:19:00.000+01:00

Been catching up on my movie watching today.

First up was INLAND EMPIRE (yes, it's supposed to be in capital letters) the latest David Lynch. This is three hours of pure surrealist Lynch. Mainly filmed on digital video it's the story of an actress played by Laura Dern who get a role in a film that may or may not be cursed as the last time a version of the screenplay was attempted, in Poland early in the 20th century, the two main actors were killed. Maybe. Time folds in on itself, the line between actress and role becomes blurred and then exploded into tiny pieces, Polish circus performers eat hot dogs, giant rabbits iron to a laugh track while waiting for the phone to ring, characters may or may not see themselves in the past/future and a room full of prostitutes do a dance number to The Locomotion. It's an amazing experience and at the moment I think I liked it.

Then I watched Children of Men which is just superb. Just from a technical point of view, there are a couple of. very long, extremely complex shots that are just mind blowing. But luckily there is so much more with great acting and a fascinating story. This says is all so much better than I could

2007-02-07T22:19:00.001+01:00

Thing

2007-02-04T10:25:00.000+01:00

This is ace

Camera

2007-02-03T18:43:00.000+01:00

So, I got myself a new camera :

and I've been playing around with it here

From Fuzedmag

2007-01-21T00:53:00.001+01:00

For those of you who saw the new issue and said, ‘What the hell is Godspeed You! Black Emperor’ here is a little bit of information. Firstly, Godspeed is a nine-piece band from Montreal that are, in essence, a rock ‘n roll orchestra. They record epic songs that shape soundscapes in your mind. The brains behind the band, a man named Efrim, utilizes what is known as ‘found sound’ to set the tone of a song. Sound clips that have been used range from the hilarious, to the obscene, to the moving, to the disturbing, and his band of electrics and winds play along to the words. They build each song from the bottom layer, creating each step as though it were a home, rising floor by floor until an apocalyptic climax that hits the notes you’ve been dying to hear for, generally, the last seven minutes or so. They are a frighteningly talented band that many have tried to replicate, but none have successfully managed to match their combined force. In honour of them, and because we cannot use sentences to fully explain to you why we are featuring them, this is a list of the twenty reasons, in no particular order, why to love them.

1. The fact that each song can be counted on being at least ten minutes long.

2. Sound clips that denounce the American government, recall sightings of Jesus, and reminisce over Coney Island.

3. Jam sessions that last for nine minutes.

4. The painting of a picture using nothing but music.

5. Sixteen minutes into ‘Rockets Fall On Rocket Falls.’

6. How each album becomes the soundtrack to your existence.

7. Whenever you fade into an abyss that the music hypnotizes you into, a sudden lurch of instrumental explosion jumpstarts you back into reality.

8. The sentence ‘I don’t like the way the government is ran, don’t you know…’ that begins the band’s most horrifying song ‘bbf3.’

9. The fact that Lee Marvin’s voice is the first thing this band ever committed to record.

10. If you listen to one of their records on a train you will be the most relaxed person on the planet.

11. They aren’t quite rock, they aren’t quite anything.

12. The fact that for their latest record Yanqui U.X.O. the album art consisted of a graph connecting record labels with bomb manufacturers, and they weren’t lying.

13. How a group of individuals could be so focused on their work as to sacrifice all possibility of a commercial hit or radio play of any kind.

14. If you play one of their songs for a rap fan they will either reply with: ‘This is the worst song I’ve ever heard’ or ‘Put on Fiddy.’ Moreover, you’ll take great joy in hearing them say that.

15. You’ll never do air-violin for any other band.

16. If you read a book and promise to read until their third record Lift Your Skiny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven is over then you can be sure you’ll be at least half way through the book by the end.

17. You’ll never get a Godspeed! song stuck in your head.

18. How the band claims to be political, but you would never know because there are no lyrics. Emotions exist within each song, but you feel it through the vibrations. They could never add a lyricist, because the music speaks more words then lyrics possibly could.

19. If you listen to ‘Storm’ in your car then you’ll burn past the speed limit.

20. The composition of each song would have Bach jealous, Mozart brain-dead, and Beethoven, well, deafer?

Someone once asked me which songs they should ‘get’ (i.e. download) to listen to some good Godspeed! tracks. I told them simply to buy records, because the band cannot be listened to in terms of individual songs. It’s an entire movement. Small pockets of melody exist within each track, but the grand picture is something much more profound and exciting then simply one snippet of the record. If you eliminate one part then the entire point is lost. So that is what I say to you: if you see a record or have an opportunity to hear one, lend your life to it, because it will become a part of you in much deeper ways then anything generic ever possibly could. Godspeed You! Black Emperor burn through their orchestrations with fury and then once it ends in a flash a timer goes off in your head and you realise then that your life just changed forever.

2006-12-20T18:32:00.001+01:00

Bunnies

2006-12-01T13:53:00.000+01:00

Pan's Labyrinth

2006-11-25T16:37:00.000+01:00

Wow.

I've just been blown away by this film.

I could mention the beautiful direction, the amazing set design and effects, the superb acting (Sergi Lopez to start with, but they are all excellent).

And the story.... It's such a fantastic piece of writing that works on so may levels and can be interpreted slightly differently by different people. The way the fist act that set the plot in motion is replacing an eye in a statue and then a insect (or a fairy; or maybe whatever ytou want it to be) comes out from the heart. The way the fantasy sections mirror and foreshadow events in the 'real' world (the key, they eating of the food that wakens the beast and makes it see what is happening). The fact that the true horror lies in the war. The lightness of touch that gets it's point made without forcing it down your throat. Fairy tales as an escape, the labyrinth as the difficult route to adulthood, self sacrifice, the futility and emptiness of not questioning your actions, I could go on, there is so much in this film.

And the ending... A perfect last line.

Best film I have seen for a very, very long time.

2006-10-17T12:44:00.000+02:00

Meat is murder

2006-10-03T21:26:00.000+02:00

...tasty, tasty murder

Pirates and Zombies.

2006-09-28T07:53:00.000+02:00

Protest march

Worship Sorkin

2006-08-17T21:47:00.000+02:00

I've just watched the first episode of Studio 60 and it's pretty damn perfect. Sorkin's writing is spot on and he's got another great cast. This is going to upset a few people though as it doesn't shy away from having a go at evangelical christians. But they deserve the abuse.

I can't wait for the rest of the series. And, yes, I know, I'm a Sorkin geek.

Driving

2006-08-17T18:09:00.000+02:00

This article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert.

Driving in Bangalore / India
For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road?

The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.

Kilimanjaro

2006-08-13T18:29:00.000+02:00

I may have mentioned that a friend and I will be climbing Kilimanjaro next year. We've decided that we will probably try to raise some money for cancer research at the same time and have set up a blog to track progress from the fat unhealthy blobs we are now to the bronzed Adonises (Adoni?) that we will beome. So all walking stuff will now be over on Two Fat Lardies.

Yes, I'm still alive.

2006-08-13T17:00:00.000+02:00

So, back in Brussels for the moment. There are still a few tax issues to be sorted out before I can become an Indian resident. I may actuallt end up speding half my time in Brussels and half in India. This does not bother me too much as it means I can do things like to Champagne for my first weekend back. I was good and only bought 11 bottles. It was an excellent weekend all round.

2006-08-10T18:34:00.000+02:00

Wither updates?

2006-07-27T18:07:00.001+02:00

Yes, I know, I haven't updated for a few days. I'm tired and lazy is all. Heading back to Brussels again tomorrow, and then straight to a BBQ on Saturday that will probably run into Sunday. I'll write something soon, promise.

Praise be to the holy trinty. And to Pies

2006-07-22T11:43:00.000+02:00

JOIN OUR CULT!

SKIP TO THE FORUM.

What we teach our children

2006-07-19T06:48:00.000+02:00

This picture and this one are further proof that as a species we are pretty much doomed.

Where the hell is Matt?

2006-07-17T18:09:00.000+02:00

On a slightly lighter note, this is ace.

Censorship

2006-07-17T17:56:00.000+02:00

So, I dropped an e-mail to boing-boing to see if anybody else had problems with Blogger in India and it seems that thing have in fact been blocked at the request of the government. As you can see, no reason is being given. It's worrying to see a country that is trying so hard to be a part of the developed nations suddenly restrict freedom of speech like this.

I suspect this has something to do with the bombings last week and tension is certainly mounting with Pakistan. Before heading to the G8 conference, the Indian prime minister condemned Pakistan for harbouring terrorists and this morning's Times of India carried an article on the front page quoting sources stating that the Pakistan secret service were behind the group responsible for the Delhi bombs.

I can post things but can't read any Blogger sites so I'll let you know what else happens.

Blogger problems?

2006-07-17T06:47:00.000+02:00

Hmm, I don't know if it's just coincidence but since last Wednesday I can't see any updates to sites on Blogger, including my own. I know the updates have been posted correctly so I wonder if it's not some sort of government censorship since the bombings last week.

Unless it's just my browser screwing up.

Weekend again.

2006-07-16T18:49:00.000+02:00

It's hit and humid here at the moment, interespersed with the occasional very heavy downpour. I seem to have spent most of the weekend asleep with the occasional break to eat. I actually slept 12 hours last night, I guess I needed it. Nowt much to report apart from the fact that I bought a few new shirts and went to see Superman Returns this evening and it was ace. Well acted, great effects, a good story with lots of heart, very good indeed. It's the first time I've been to the cinema her and I asked at reception if they could arrange tickets so they sent one of the boys physically to the cinema to get the ticket! It was a huge old cinema, numbered seats and and ancient ushers. But the screen was big and the sound good. Lots of families there so there was the occasional crying baby and people talking on the phone which is very annoying, but there weren't too many. All films here seem to have an intermission of ten minutes which gives you a good excuse to stretch your legs (the seats are not made for tall people). Cinema ticket cost 130 rupee and popcorn a massive 15....

Some of the guys in the UK had a pissup in Oxford and as I couldn't make it, they made a hand-puppet of me. Rumour has it that it even talked to some ladies. Typical, the puppet version has better luck than the real one... :-)

The Fountain

2006-07-14T10:29:00.000+02:00

Requiem for a dream is one of the best films I've ever seen and I've been looking forward to Aranofsky's next one, The Fountain, for a while. Not that I've read this even more so.

Roads

2006-07-12T23:25:00.001+02:00

With this working nights thing, I'm not getting out and about much so there is not a huge amount to report at the moment. I did find one good example of how things work (or don't) over here… A brand new stretch of road opened today that was originally supposed to have been finished in 2004. They then dug up part of it to install a tent for the opening so it had potholes in it before even being opened.

Bombs

2006-07-12T23:25:00.000+02:00

So, yesterday evening there were seven bombs that went off in crowded trains during rush hour in Mumbai. At the moment there are no official suspects although earlier in the day eight tourists had been killed in Kashmir so it's quite possible that they may be related. Pakistan almost immediately condemned the attacks but the press is already speculating about terrorists based in Pakistan. This is to be taken with a grain of salt however as the press over here tend to blame everything on Pakistan, you will never see an article showing Pak as they call it, in a positive light. It is a little worrying when you see how quickly the Indians can overreact to things (I can't talk for the Pakistanis but I'd be surprised if they were very different) and both countries have nuclear weapons.

The attacks in Mumbai do not seem to have had much effect on things down here. Police presence has been increased at airports and train stations but life seems to be pretty much going on as normal. The local police have apparently been in touch with the IT and BPO companies here to ensure that they are taking adequate security measures. An attempt on one of them would be a big symbolic event and would certainly spook foreign investment but let's hope that doesn't happen. The bombs yesterday where certainly timed to have maximum impact and to be honest when you hear that the trains in Mumbai transport six million people a day, it could have been a lot worse that it was.

Coincidence

2006-07-12T23:24:00.000+02:00

Last Friday I was still in Brussels and was due to have meeting all day with a guy from New York. I'd arranged to meet him at his hotel and then we'd head off to the office together. The meant that I could leave a bit later and as I stepped out the door into the entrance of the apartment building, Wouter, a mate of mine, was just pressing the doorbell for the building management company. He works as a plumber and was picking up the key of a flat he was due to work on. He didn't even know I was in the country (which made me feel a bit bad that I hadn't called him) let alone staying in that building. It was pure coincidence that we bumped into each other. We arranged to have a beer together when I get back and hopefully also see a concert of some sort. It was an odd way to meet though.

Mngggg

2006-07-11T12:38:00.000+02:00

Gah, my poor old brain is confused at the moment. I'm working US time this week which means that my car picks me up at 16.30 and I get back to the hotel at around 3am.

The roads are eerily empty at that time of the night, the only things out and about apart from the occasional BPO vans driving staff to and from work, are packs of wild dogs who seem to take over the streets when everybody else has gone home.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear from somebody who used to work with me in Brussels and is now traveling in Asia. His blog is here and is much better written than mine, the bastard :-)

Right, must go, I need to polish my shoes and head of workwards.

Chink?

2006-07-10T08:08:00.000+02:00

This headline from India Today, the local equivalent of Time or Newsweek, made me giggle. It's refering to the reopening of a mountain border post with China. I'm not sure if it was intentional or not.

Sunset

2006-07-10T08:05:00.000+02:00

From my room you can see the sunset behind the buildings across the road. Lots of buildings over here have this unfinished look at the top, the rest of the building is fine.

Back in Bangalore

2006-07-09T10:16:00.000+02:00

So, back at the Gateway Hotel, room 415 is my current home, I think it's one of the rooms that has been refurbished recently as it has nice wooden floors and new fittings.

The flight went fine, I think they should rename it 'geek air' as most of the people on the flight looked like computer geeks with little social skills (please note that I am not necessarily discounting myself from that group). A guy just in front of me spent 8 hours reading a magazine on model trains in great detail...

I dozed for maybe an hour or so which was strange seeing as I did not sleep well at all the night before. Jean-Paul served a great meal at his place with some superb wines, I couldn't really enjoy it to the full due to having to get up very early the following day which was a shame. Still, there will be more occasions to do that in the future.

Had a run for the first time in weeks, I see that the five weeks in Brussels resulted in me putting almost all the weight I'd lost (which wasn't much admittedly) back on. Right, well I think I'm going to go and read by the pool now even if it's a bit cloudy.

reminder

2006-07-06T21:53:00.000+02:00

Calvaire

2006-07-06T20:44:00.000+02:00

I've just watched a rather excellent Belgian film called 'Calvaire', the first feature length film by the very talented Fabrice du Welz. The english title is 'The Ordeal' but that simplifies things and remore the multiple meanings of the word in French such as Mount cavelry where Jesus was supoosedly crucified and also the name of stone crosses that can be found across Belgium and norther France. The religious symbolism is important as there is a lot that can be read into the film. Again, multiple potential interpretations are important as that is one of the things the film talks about.

It's difficult to describe this film but as a brief synopsis a travelling singer find himself in a small village in the Ardennes where a lonely inn-keeper called Paul Bartel (Du Welz likes naming characters after cult directors, see the Godin one at the end) is convinced that he is his wife who ran away but has now returned. The rest of the village are even stranger. The film involves a calf being, um, pleasured, seven dwarves in red, crucifictions, pigs as pets, the strangest and creepiest dance I've seen for a long time in the village bar, a man in a dress and a chase through the beautifully filmed Hautes Fagnes. Is it real? Is the singer just an open vessel that people see whatever they want to in? Is everybody mad? Maybe it's hell? Who knows and that is part of the fun of this film. It's playful and creepy like good surrealism should be. Du Welz also knows hos horror and aknowledges tributes to Deliverance, Texas Chainsaw, Straw Dogs, Psycho and Don't look know. But he makes this his own and leaves you with a film that has you thinking about it after the very end of the credits which have a little something at the very end to add yet more possibilities to what you have just seen.

The DVD also has his first short 'Quand on est amoreux c'est merveilleux' which is a very funny and quite melancholy little tale involving necrophilia. It's also very good and owes a lot to Lynch with an athmoshpere and use of sound reminiscent of Eraserhead. It also has the very lovely French adult actress Laure Sinclair in a small role and Noel Godin plays a character caled Fulchi.

Root of all evil

2006-07-05T21:45:00.000+02:00

I'm just watching the documentary of the same name, presented by Richard Dawkins, who is a brilliant scientist and speaker. It's a fabulous documentary that basically says that the root of most bad things in the world is in fact religion. His proposition that teaching children in religious schools is tantamount to child abuse and that faith could be considered to be a virus will probably upset some people but then religious people shown saying the bible is true an scientific fact is rubbish, that abortion and homosexuality are mortal sins really gets me worked up. The guy defending his friend who killed an abortion doctor made me want to throw things at the screen.

Dawkins is an atheist and proud and his logical approach is the only way to view the subject. People should think for themselves and not credit everything that they do not understand to an invisible entity. The world has moved on, science and reason have replaced the need for superstition but a worrying amount of people throughout the world seem to resist this and keep those irrational beliefs alive through their children.

An excellent program, highly recommended. Yes, its biased but all documentary is, at least Dawkins is logical and passionate. And seeing him rip into some of the fundamentalists of various religions is a great pleasure. And he ends it on a positive note by reminding us that religion and faith actually stop people questioning things. Atheism means that we appreciate the life we have more due to knowing that our time is limited and that through questioning things we can truly enjoy the complexity of the universe and admire its elegance.

Another great weekend

2006-07-03T21:36:00.000+02:00

Huzza for another great weekend! Was in Lux from Friday after work and had an excellent weekend. Stayed at Dougs and it's always cool to hang out, saw Steve again, spent some time with the always lovely Laura, spoke to a bloke from school who I haven't really spoken to for years, drank some booze, had a burger at Maybe Not Bob's (shame, Andy had the night off so didn't get to see him), philosophised with Doug at 2 in the morning, all good stuff. The weather was fantastic which made the train journey through the Ardennes very pretty indeed. I'm going to try and go down there again in August when I get back.

As always when at Doug's we watched some Scrubs which gives me an excuse to post a picture of the very lovely Elliot:

Superman

2006-07-03T21:21:00.000+02:00

Scott Kurtz is always pretty good but on occasion he's just fantastic:

I think this captures how a good superhero film should make you feel. I think I really need to see Superman Returns.

What about doggy or reverse cow-girl?

2006-06-28T22:51:00.000+02:00

For some reason I find this odd and a little amusing.

Manchester

2006-06-27T18:03:00.000+02:00

The long weekend has taken it's toll and I'm now ill... But it was a lot of fun.

Took the train to London on Friday and picked up the rental car from the station. It was a rather nice little Clio, very pleasant to drive. Made it out of London and to Bracknell to pick up Ross and then we headed up to Manchester. Met Lee at the hotel and went out for "a couple of drinks". We went to several rather nice pubs and finished up at the Pure Magic Bar which was fantastic. We sat at the bar and the guys do magic tricks right in front of you, keeping you very much involved. I know it is all sleight of hand but they were really impressive. Among the most memorable tricks were the one where a card that had been signed by the three of us and shuffled back into the pack was produced folded up in the magician's mouth and one where a foam ball was placed in my hand and when my hand was opened again, there were two balls in it. An excellent place, we stayed there for a couple of hours and had lots to drink while chatting to Mark and Andy, two of the magicians. We then staggered off at about 2 am. I went back to my hotel and collapsed into bed. Apparently at about 5 am Ross wandered into Lee's bedroom and peed in his girlfriends wardrobe. Needless to say he was not very popular.

The next day I wandered around the city centre which is surprisingly nice and modern. I'd forgotten that a lot had been destroyed by the IRA bomb ten years ago. They have done a lovely job of doing it up though.

Saturday night we met up for beer and a lot was consumed. There was one very annoying woman who we shall call Jocasta due to her extreme poshness. The second thing out of her mouth was to insult everybody there and she just got worse, thinking that she knew better than everybody else there. She even started to argue about the merits and social implications of moving jobs to India, something think I may know a little about... She annoyed every single person who was there, so we tried to just ignore her as much as possible We ended up at a comedy club where we saw three very funny stand-up comedians.

Ross, Lewis and Lee:

Ross had mentioned that Manc did not have any attractive women living there, he was proven wrong on many an occasion. It may just be the English thing of the minute the weather is slightly nice, women wear the tiniest skirts and tops possible. In any case it was very pleasant.

On Sunday I drove Ross back to Bracknell and then went to Waterloo to get the train. I was starting to feel a bit feverish and ill by this point and just drifted in and out of sleep on the train. I stayed at home yesterday and feel slightly less achey today but still not perfect. Apart from that, it was a truly excellent weekend.

Music videos

2006-06-21T19:18:00.000+02:00

There's some really great stuff here:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/36588/Staff_List_100_Awesome_Music_Videos/page_1

Oranges

2006-06-19T18:40:00.000+02:00

This amused me

Weekend

2006-06-18T20:54:00.000+02:00

I had a very pleasant weekend. Jan invited me to his place which is in Saint-Truiden, just north of Liege. Took the train up, it's about an hour from Brussels. They have a lovely house, new and modern with a huge garden. His brother has the house next door, his parents live up the road and his uncle across the road, it's a close family! Went for dinner with his lovely wife and son the sat in the garden drinking metaxa, smoking cigars and talking bollocks. His wife insisted on making a very nice cooked breakfast. Got back here around lunchtime and just lazed about reading, dozed off for a couple of hours.

I then watch this film which came free with Mad Movies (a French horror magazine) this month:

It has scientists who GO TOO FAR!, a badly animated mutant crocodile that kills people in fairly bloody ways, an Australian crocodile hunter and a female animal expert who wears the smallest shorts known to man. It's rubbish and one of the best films ever, very enjoyable.

Stuff

2006-06-17T00:16:00.000+02:00

So, I'm still in Brussels at the moment. Was talking to my boss today and it seems we are getting slightly closer to sorting out my situation. We are looking at two options: the first is that I become an employee of our Mumbai office, this would involve all sorts of behind the scenes stuff as I don't want to lose my pension and stuff with the Brussels office. The second option is that I stay employed by Brussels and spend three months in India and then six weeks in Brussels/London/New York/Wherever. The second one sounds preferable to me at the moment, but hopefully the lawyers will get back to us in the next week or so.

At the moment it looks like I'll be in Brussels until the 9 July but there is still a possibility that I go to New York for a couple of weeks beforehand, we'll see. In the mean time I've booked trains, cars and hotels to go to the UK next weekend to see friends in Manchester. It's actually cheaper to rent a car than travel by train in the UK, so I'll pick up a car at Waterloo on Friday, drive to Bracknell to pick up Ross and then up to Manchester to meet Lee and a bunch of other pissheads. Back to Brussels on the Sunday.

tonight I went to a rather nice tapas bar down by the Place Flagey with Pierre. We had several glasses of wine to start with, then some rather posh but nice food and another bottle of wine. The waitresses were also rather easy on the eye and we ended up spending four hours there... I'm now back at the nice little furnished flat the bank is paying for and will get some sleep. I left Pierre at a Portuguese festival were he knew some other people. I'm sure he'll be there for several hours yet! I've got a long evening of food and drink with Jan tomorrow so I need my rest. If I can stop listening to music now of course. Listen to this, it's really rather good, especially The Saddle Song.

Perrry Bible Foundation

2006-06-14T19:17:00.000+02:00

I love this comic

North Korea

2006-06-14T18:06:00.000+02:00

These are fascinating photos (there's more on the second page)

Homeless

2006-06-08T16:52:00.000+02:00

So, the flight went OK, was a bit bumpy and I only got three hours sleep. For some reason we seemed to go straight up the Pakistan boarder and over the Caspian Sea, avoiding both Pakistan and Iran, which was different from the previous flights I've taken.

Got in to Brussels yesterday, did all the bit I needed to for my US and went for chips and beer on the Place Jourdan. While we were there my boss called to say that the New York trip is off and that I will help out my old department for the month instead. Needless to say I was not overjoyed by the news. Spoke to the branch manager this morning and he now seems to think that I probably should go to New York after all. He's going to talk to the guys over there and let me know. So I have no idea where I will be for the next few weeks. The bank can never accuse me of not being flexible...

I went to my appointment with the US embassy anyway and that went really smoothly. The famous interview lasted about five minutes and was with a very cute consular official. She said that I can pick up my passport tomorrow at 12 so at least I'll be able to go the US at some point, lets see how many times my plans get changed tomorrow...

Goodbye, room 328

2006-06-06T17:43:00.000+02:00

I've got about an hour until I need to check out, my driver will be here at 22.30 to take me to the airport. That's a little early but seeing how unpredictable the traffic can be, it's better safe than sorry. I'll be in Brussels late tomorrow morning, then I need to go to the post office to deposit the visa fee for the US embassy (they don't accept bank transfers...) and get a photo taken for my visa (it needs to be in a non-standard format...). Then I'm going for chips and beer on the Place Jourdan with Pierre and Jean-Paul.

Thursday morning at 8.30 is my appointment at the embassy, hopefully that will all go smoothly and then I'll be on my way to New York on Saturday. I have an apartment booked for me here.:-)

But first I'm looking forward to seeing my friends, even if it's only for a couple of days.

Miss USA

2006-06-03T18:43:00.000+02:00

So, the Miss USA finals are on TV at the moment. I'd be lying if I said that they swimsuit section was not quite interesting to watch.

Except they seem to be using 'Your Beautiful' by James CBlunt as a theme tune. That song makes me want to kill. Time to turn off the TV.

Travel

2006-06-02T19:47:00.000+02:00

So, this taxation issue is still not sorted out. The recommendation was that I'm OK for 90 days in India, any longer and it may cause tax issues (although we have no confirmation of this).

So I'm talking to my boss today and she's come up with a cunning plan to make the most out of the 90 days seeing as part of the project goes live at the start of July. Basically I'm off to New York next week and will be back in Bangalore around the 10 July when we go live. I've already changed my flight and leave Bangalore on Tuesday night. I get back into Brussels on Wednesday morning and as I have a passport issued in 2000 that is not machine readable, I need to get a visa. According to the embassy website, this should take about three days so I can be in New York some time next weekend or early the week after.

This is all rather cool in an international jet-setter way, and yes, I'm feeling a bit smug.

Jean-Paul will be in Montreal in the middle of June visiting Anne and Jalal so if I'm in New York we are going to have to get together and drink quite a lot of booze. Just had a quick look and I can get a return flight to Montreal from JFK for just over 300 USD which is nothing.

Hurrah basically!

This amused me

2006-06-01T18:36:00.000+02:00

Quiet day and llamas

2006-06-01T17:46:00.001+02:00

A nice quiet day today, there were no calls with New York so I left the office at six. Had a run on the treadmill and as I'm doing reasonably well on the weight front, and mainly because I felt like it, I had dinner in the hotel. Some very nice minced lamb in a spicy gravy.

Still no news on the tax situation by the way. I hope it gets sorted out soon, I've been stating in the hotel for almost two months now and it would be really nice to have a place that's a bit more 'home'.

It's a shame that it's always dark when I come back from work which makes it difficult to take photos. On one of the street corners not far from the office there is a family who have basically set up a small farm. There s a wooden roof and walls leant against a building and they have a couple of cows, several goats, some sheep and what I am fairly sure is a llama. All of this is of course just on the pavement. I must be getting used to it here as I don't find that all that odd anymore.

Oh, and the rains have not really started in Bangalore which, to be honest, is a little disappointing. I was looking forward to a deluge maybe it'll come later. According to the newspaper some parts of the coast have had forty centimeters of rain in forty-eight hours. That's just ridiculous. And fairly cool.

Why in pluperfect hell did you pee on the corpse?

2006-05-30T19:24:00.000+02:00

I just watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and it was fantastic. Fabulous writing, excellent acting by Robert Downey jr and Val Kilmer and I think I'm in love with Michelle Monaghan:

Hotel

2006-05-29T17:20:00.000+02:00

For the past two days there had been an annoying clicking sound in my room and I couldn't work out where it was coming from, it was somewhere behind the wall. I mentioned it at reception before going to work today. When I got back this evening it was blissfully quiet. Turns out the person in the room next door had their ceiling fan on full and that's what was making the noise, although why they need the fan and the air-conditioning I don't know, maybe they were eskimos. Anyway, they changed the fan and it's now all sorted. They really do look after you well here.

That may have something to do with the fct that I was due to meet the COO of the hotel chain this evening. He is down from Mumbai and wanted to meet me as we use the hotel a lot to see what I thought. He was a nice enough guy and while I didn't say that the singer in the lounge was rubbish, I did say it was a bit loud. We were sitting right in front of the 'singer' while he was busy doing horrible things to elton John songs, I think the COO got the idea.

Anyhow I then had a run (I'm on five KM almost every day) and now I'm going to watch Final Destination 2 on HBO. G'night

Clouds

2006-05-28T14:10:00.000+02:00

Not very exciting for most people but there have not been that many clouds here in the past two months. This is the start of the rainy season.

MySpace (eeeeeeemoooooooooo)

2006-05-28T09:33:00.000+02:00

I've created a MySpace account to see what all the fuss is about. The layout of the site is horrible and it does seem to fall over a tremendous amount.

However it is a very good way to find new music. So far I've discover the fab Tara Busch and Fields. I'm going to waste a lot of time on that site, I can tell.

Stuff

2006-05-28T08:40:00.000+02:00

On Tuesday a friend from Luxembourg gave me a call and suggested that we have dinner on Tursday, turns out he was in town for a week visiting some people. We ended up going to Karavalli and having some superb sea-food on Thursday and then to Harima on Saturday for a fairly obscene amount of Japanese food. 'twas nice to hang out with somebody else and great to see the old tart again.

Otherwise it's been grey and overcast for the past two days, the monsoon is almost here. And we seem to be having more powercuts than usual.

Big food

2006-05-21T18:22:00.000+02:00

I love this site: http://www.pimpmysnack.com/projects.php

This made me giggle.

2006-05-21T17:44:00.000+02:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Food

2006-05-21T17:28:00.000+02:00

This afternoon I suddenly had an urge for raw fish for some reason so this evening I had dinner in a very nice Japanese place called Harima which is about a ten minute walk from the hotel down Residency Road, just past the St Mark's Road junction. It's in a decaying office block called The Barton Center and you go up to the fourth floor in a very old lift that seems to have half the buttons missing. Once there a doorman opens a sliding wooden door and you are in a lovely restaurant with rough stone floors; a nice circular sushi bar, several small rooms with rice paper walls and mats on the floor. There was one other westerner in there and the rest of the people there were Japanese. The food was excellent and I think I have fulfilled my craving for raw fish for the moment.

I went on my own as I haven't seen the other guys at all today. We had a couple of drinks in the hotel bar last night and then escaped when the world's worst lounge singer started up. I don't know if the hotel realise how much business they are losing by having this sing in public. It drives people away in fits of giggles, holding their ears. Anyway, we went next door to Spinn but that was far too crowded for my taste so I left them too it at about ten thirty. They had been talking about going to some afterhours club in Koramangala, as I haven't heard from them all day, I can assume that they had a good time.

Local news

2006-05-21T05:52:00.000+02:00

I thought I'd just share a couple of news items that are in today's paper over here. While India is positioning itself as a world leader in IT, a growing economy and a nuclear power, these sort of things still happen:

Tongue sacrificed: In a bizarre ritual, a woman on Saturday cut off her tongue and offered it to the goddess Kali at a temple in Hardoi, Uttar Pradesh. The woman, Rekha, made the sacrificial offering at a Kali temple in Maholia Sivpar area in the district and the police contingent had to be deployed in the area as a precautionary measure.

Uttar Pradesh is a state in the north of the country, bordered by the Himalayas. Now, quite why the police were deployed I'm not sure. Maybe they were afraid of a sudden rash of tongue removals...

Bollywood sizzler Rakhi Sawant has been booked by the police for 'indecent behaviour' and 'destroying public peace' Sawant had performed at a promotional show here (in Kolhapur) which had to be abruptly stopped after some miscreants went on the rampage, breaking chairs and clashing with security guards while trying to cross the barricades to reach the stage.... "Sawant's clothes were too embarrassing for the public. The commotion erupted after the crowds found her clothes and performance extremely provocative" DSP Shahaji Umap told the Sunday Times of India on Saturday. He said the police were planning to arrest her and bring her to Kolhapur in connection with her case.

She's not entirely unattractive it must be said:

Kolhapur is in the state of Maharashtra which border Karnataka. So, a bunch of boozed up men couldn't restrain themselves and it is the woman who gets arrested for 'provoking' them... There are still a lot of things in this country that need changing but social and cultural changes like that require a lot of time. India is going to continue to be a mass of contradictions for many years to come.

I don't think it's geting enough pubilicity

2006-05-20T06:50:00.000+02:00

So, The Da Vinci Code film is getting people upset over here. There is at least one person in Mumbai who is going 'on hunger-strike until death' unless it is banned, one muslim council has voiced support for the Christian groups getting their knickers in a twist over a film, and from reading the reviews, apparently a pretty bad one. Why can't they just let people make up their own minds? Oh, except thinking for yourself is not really encouraged my that many religious groups is it. Gah.

Anyway, the Herald Tribune published their review, which is also negative. But they had this wonderful line: "...Ron Howard's film of Dan Brown's best-selling primer on how not to write an English sentence".

Arf! For the record, I also think that Brown is an awful, awful writer.

The good the meh and the gory

2006-05-19T20:02:00.000+02:00

One of the guys from New York brought some films over with him and he's got pretty good taste so I've just watched Saw II and Hostel which he'd brought with him.

Hostel is pretty damn good and quite intense. It's the second film by Eli Roth who I met a couple years ago at the horror festival in Brussels when he was there for with his first film Cabin Fever'. He's a very entertaining loon who obviously loves his horror film. This one starts off as sort of a teen teen comedy type thing with lots of attractive naked girls encountered by two young Americans and their insane Icelandic friend who are traveling round Europe. They find Amsterdam to be a little tame and follow the rumours of a town in Slovakia full of gorgeous girls who just love foreigners. For the fist 45 minutes you follow these guys and it's pretty amusing. The film has been accused of being sexist and homophobic but I can't say I see that. The three main characters are assholes sure, but they don't mean any harm. Soon after they get to Slovakia things turn nasty. Very nasty in fact. Yes, the film has been called 'torture porn' and it is intense (with some truly excellent effects courtesy f the ever reliable KNB) but we keep watching it. Which I think is part of Roth's point, he's not just providing a kick-ass horror film that plays very much on the fear of the unknown, of being a stranger in a strange land, but implicates us in the enjoyment of torture, making us identify with the bad guys at a subconscious level. Yes, Roth is a fan of Takeshi Miike and of course he's not the same level of film maker than Miike but he admits it and even features Miike in a very short cameo. In summary a very good, disturbing and bloody film.

I also watched Saw II and was pleasantly surprised, this too is pretty brutal. There's a scene with a pit full of syringes that, what with my needle phobia, I found difficult to watch. The acting is not great but the story is and I did not see the ending coming at all and loved it.

Finally I watched the last episode of The West Wing. Series seven had certainly been one of the better post Sorkin ones and had some great episodes (how they deal with real life death of one of the main actors was excellent and had me feeling all emotional), however the last episode was not one of the great ones. It was Ok but a bit of a let down really, maybe that was part of the point with the changing of the staff as a new president is sworn in but it didn't effect me the way it should have done after seven years of these characters. Everything finished the way you wanted it too and I think that was part of the problem. The way you want it to finish is not necessarily the way it should have. It didn't excite, challenge or surprise the way it should have. But it's over now and it was generally excellent. Now I just need to wait for Sorkin's new series to start later in the year.

Thunder

2006-05-16T17:37:00.000+02:00

It's very difficult to get a good picture of a storm. This is the best that I could do leaning out of the hotel room window. Sorry it's a bit crap, the storm itself was much more impressive, just try and imagine it or something.

Impatient

2006-05-15T18:02:00.000+02:00

Warren Ellis wrote this earlier :

Read a draft of Aaron Sorkin's
forthcoming STUDIO 60 ON THE
SUNSET STRIP last night. Nearly
gave up writing. I want to break
that bastard's hands, I really do.

I can wait until the autumn when this is due.

Hulk Smash

2006-05-13T20:42:00.000+02:00

Gah, I really shouldn't read stuff like this, it just make me very angry. Why do people still believe a single word this man says?

Saturday night

2006-05-13T20:22:00.000+02:00

Today was the birthday of the one guys who is staying here another month and the last night of one of the other guys. We had a coupe of drinks in the bar earlier one which involved me having six measures of gin with two tonics, which was a nice start to the evening.

We then went to a restaurant on Museum Road, about a ten minute walk from the hotel called The Only Place and had a pretty good steak. I had a chateaubriand for 350 rupee, which is about 6 Euro. The restaurant does not serve alcohol but they offered us beer anyway, when they served it the bottle was wrapped up so that you couldn't see what it was and on the bill it was down as 'mocktails'.

Then two of us went to Spinn, the club next to the hotel and it was a lot better than last week, maybe because of the amount I have had to drink, maybe because they had a different DJ, probably a mixture of the two. In any case, there were lots of very attractive ladies there tonight. And no, of course I didn't talk to any of them...

Storm

2006-05-12T17:55:00.000+02:00

The weather was lovely and sunny until about four his afternoon when out of nowhere these incredible winds started up and rain started pouring, and I mean pouring really heavily. A tree right next to the office blew down and you could see that even some cars where having trouble in the wind. Five minutes later it was all over. I rained a little later on but nothing like those five minutes.

This weather of course starts to was away the roads and turn the potholes into lakes. The other guys took 90 minutes to come into the office this evening. Going back was not too bad, you just had to avoid the water. Just before Banneghatta road joins Hosur Road you cross a little bridge that goes over what can normally be described as a rubbish dump with a small stream running down the side. This evening it was a fairly healthy river. I can't wait to see what the monsoon is going to be like. This place is going to be chaos.

Food

2006-05-11T18:50:00.000+02:00

As two of the Americans leave this weekend, the office took us out for dinner at a very nice place called Samarkand that serves north western and Afghan food. It's a nice place on Infantry Road and obviously also popular with foreigners, I don't think I've seen that many westerners in one place here. Of course my US colleagues think that everybody not Indian is American, despite the fact that there was a huge table of Brits and another of Spaniards...

Rained again tonight, another good thunderstorm and it's very pleasant outside now. But it's time for bed, so goodnight.

LOL ROFL!!!

2006-05-09T19:03:00.000+02:00

There's a little magazine a bit like Time Out called CityInfo that has a section about nightlife and this month they have some woman talking about her nights out: "I have done some crazy stuff in pubs around the city. My friends and I once broke some mugs in a pub and sneaked out unnoticed"

She sounds like sooooooo much fun to be with....

Office

2006-05-09T17:46:00.000+02:00

My office in not on the main campus but in what they call 'the Towers'. The maximum height for most buildings is four stories which is how tall the Towers are, this is still taller than most buildings nearby. There are two towers, one behind the other; I'm in Tower II which is at the back of Banarghatta Road. Like most office buildings in Bangalore, the Towers have a staff canteen on the roof. This is both a good use of space and also gives some additional ventilation as there is often a small breeze up there.

Basically they just put a metal roof over the flat top of the building, not putting in any walls to leave it open. The roof of course has lights and lots of fans to move the hot air around. There is a small kitchen with a canteen like metal serving counter, several tables and chairs, a small snack bar, a ping-pong table and a washroom. As of course most meals are eaten with your hands, there are always washrooms like this, even in some restaurants, open with just sinks. Tower II serves just vegetarian meals and Tower I serves what they call 'non-veg'. Vegetarian meals are quite strict so the non-veg option could just be as simple as including egg. You can get a nice meal for 25 rupees (about 50 Eurocents).

From the canteen there's quite good view all the way up Banarghatta Road all the way to the centre of town, although there isn't really much of a skyline. You can see the minarets from mosques here and there and a surprising amount of greenery. The huge Acenture building towards town stands out quite prominently and they are building a further extension to it. Just outside the offices are the road works for yet another flyover. These have been going on for months but are supposed to be finished this month. Judging by the progress you can see, I doubt they will manage this, but you never know.

Names

2006-05-09T09:26:00.000+02:00

I finally received my company ID card and am glad to see that despite correcting it on the form, I'm now called Brain Eeles. This is at least a slight improvement on the car company who have me down as Mr Brown Ellis...

Hot

2006-05-09T06:25:00.000+02:00

The north of the country is currently having a bit of a heat wave and it's reaching 46 degrees in some parts. Down here it's a balmy 34 or so.

I think this is the longest I've ever been without seeing rain, the first rains should be due soon and then the monsoon starts around June. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what that is like.

Secrets

2006-05-07T18:16:00.000+02:00

This is one of my favourite sites.

Clubbing

2006-05-06T19:19:00.000+02:00

I've just been to a club here and can happily report that it's just as shit as a club in Europe. Far too crowded, music played too loud, overpriced drinks and full of prententious arseholes.

I did see one bloke with a belt buckle that had lots of LEDs on it and which spelt out messages. I don't think he liked me pointing and laughing at him though.

Traffic

2006-05-03T18:03:00.000+02:00

Hosur road is one of the main roads out of the city towards the south. It's two lanes in each direction and is always very busy.

Today on the way home it seems that all of the drivers suddenly decided that it would no longer be two lane sin either direction, but that it would be six lanes of traffic all heading in to town. Needless to say, the traffic trying to head south was a little stuck...

History?

2006-05-02T19:31:00.000+02:00

Gah, The History Channel is advertising a TV movie about the private Jessica Lynch 'rescue'. The one that was played up by the pentagon using an unquestioning US media as the rescue of a brave young woman. It's since been proven that the official version had nothing whatsoever to do with reality and that the majority of it was staged and blown out of proportion.

So now The History Channel are showing the 'official' version, so it must be true, right?

I wish there was more real journalism out there and that people would question things more

2006-05-01T17:37:00.000+02:00

Yesterday we went to Mysore for the day, the guys at the office had talked about organising a trip for us but I guess the Americans couldn't wait so they arranged for the driver to be at the hotel on Sunday morning at 07.30 to take us out for the day. I had intended to go to Mysore for a weekend at some point, possibly by train but thought I'd go along for the day anyway, I could always go back again.

We had a bigger car so that everybody could fit into the one vehicle and the driver was the one the merkins normally have, mine was driving his boss home for the weekend, a 12 hour round trip. I got the front seat, which meant that I got to the full on driving experience. There were a couple of times when I thought I might need clean trousers as he was driving fast and very aggressively. We were going right behind cars, changing from lane to lane, overtaking on the left, on the right, between cars all the while the horn just kept blowing. The road itself was surprisingly good quality for most of the way. It's been resurfaced and widened almost the entire way there are just a few stretches where the work is still ongoing. On some of the new stretches through villages you can see corners missing from buildings where they were demolished to make way for the road. The rest of the building may still be standing and of course there are people still living in it…

At first the scenery was nothing special but about 40 kilometres outside Bangalore there were the first of these huge rocky mountains jutting out of the plains. They are strange things, not much vegetation on them, just these massive lumps of granite several hundred metres high in a dusty landscape. I didn't get any photos, as we were too busy driving at high speed.

Further along the road the landscape got flatter as we entered the Cauvery River valley. There was a lot more greenery with coconut palms, mango trees, banana plantations and rice paddies. I even saw some peasants using water buffalo to pull a manual plough on their tiny piece of land.

Just outside Mysore we visited Tipu's summer palace:

and the nearby temple complex :

where we seemed to somehow acquire an ancient guide who talked non-stop for about twenty minutes, I could understand maybe a quarter of what he was saying, and then demanded 200 rupee for the privilege. There was a comment from somebody in the group about how it was disgusting that a place of worship was set up to sell things and take money off you. As always I bit my tongue, not mentioning the fact that some cathedrals charge entrance, all churches have donation boxes and most religions have taken money from people since the dawn of time.

Then we went into Mysore proper which seems to be quite a nice sleepy little town. We drove up Chamundi Hill, one of southern India's most sacred sites, with the driver overtaking traffic on blind bends and me praying to whichever gods would listen. The view from the top was spectacular, and there were of course thousands of people everywhere. Being westerners all the sales-people and kids quickly latched onto us, asking the usual conversation started of 'which country you from sir?' Unless you want to find yourself with a hanger-on asking for cash for the next hour, the best thing is to just ignore them and keep walking. There were several people trying to sell me photos of the temples and the view, which seemed a bit pointless as I was in the process of taking photos of those very things… Oh, and there were monkeys and a very large stone bull:

Then out driver took us to a 'craft factory', which admittedly did have some craftsmen working on some fairly nice wooden furniture, but was basically just a hard sell tourist trap. This is pretty common, as the driver will normally get a commission from the shop for every tourist they bring in. The woman running things seemed quite upset that I didn't want to keep looking at things and preferred to just hang out outside watching the world go by. Needless to say, two member of the group ended up buying various items.

Then we went to the palace, which is spectacular. You cannot bring cameras inside and have to leave them in a locker before entering but you can take photos from outside:

There are loads more photos here.

The inside is amazing with beautiful carved ceilings, intricate inlays of ivory on the doors, courtyards and halls. You are not allowed to wear shoes inside and when we got out the ground was so hot that it was impossible to walk very far, you end up just running from one patch of shade to the next!

Then it was time for the long trip back. We did manage to get a puncture just outside Bangalore but it was quickly repaired and we were back just before dark. It was a bit ambitious to try and do everything in one day, but still a very nice little trip.

When I got into the office today, one of the guys asked what we'd been up to so I told him and he looked a bit disappointed. He went on to say that as he'd promised a while ago, he'd arranged for a weekend in Mysore with the company…I though the merkins had checked with him before organising the trip yesterday but apparently not…

Americans II

2006-04-30T16:43:00.000+02:00

Went for a very nice (and relatively expensive) meal at the Sheraton last night. It really is a beautiful hotel and we had the grill outside with the largest shrimp I have ever seen, they were the size of a small lobster each.

When we sat down, there were very nice folding wooden chairs. one of the visiting Americans say down and promptly broke the chair, snapping the wood and ending up on his arse. Much hilarity ensued, especially the waiter who made a valient efort not smile but failed miserably.The somewhat overweight chap who broke the chair was highly embaressed and the waiter asked the second large member of our group if he'd like a sturdier chair too.

Went to Mysore with them today and two of them really are very loud and actually quite annoying. The woman actually said that she'd like to 'take some picture of those cute little huts they have' I didn't want to upset her by pointing out that they were part of a slum and people actually have to live in them. They really do show no respect for the local culture and will quite loudy tell people what they pay for things in the US. These are usually sume of money that represtent several years salary for people here. Today our driver took us round all sorts of place (which I will post about later, but the photos are alreay up on flickr if you want to look at them.) and they didn't even think of tipping him. I gave him 500 ruppees as a thank you, even if his driving terrified me.

I'm embarrassed by the Americans but I guess I'll just have to live with it for the moment!

Metro

2006-04-28T19:19:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm sure this will run into problems at some point and end up delayed by at least ten years. The paper this morning also said that the new airport is ahead of schedule which can't be right.

Video

2006-04-25T18:34:00.000+02:00

Here are a couple of short videos taken with my camera from the car window. It's a Sunday so there is not much traffic but it should give you and idea of what things look like:

One and two

Lions, tigers and bears, oh my!

2006-04-23T14:09:00.000+02:00

Today was the first time I've ventured out of the city. I dragged my American colleagues out to Bannerghatta National Park which is about 25 km south of the city. Of course, with the Indian roads and traffic, it takes about an hour to get there. We went through some small villages and that really shows how poor the majority of the country is. When you get back into the city you realise how it's not so bad after all, lack of pavement and everything.

The village of Bannerghatta itself is a collection of small huts interspersed with small temples and people selling food from tiny shops. I saw my first Indian monkey just walking down the road. There was a small shack selling goat meat, the carcasses hanging from string outside, a pile of goat heads on the ground. One the drive back, a goat was being bled into a tin bucket. I didn't take any photos as I'd feel bad stopping the car just to take some pictures of people in poverty. Maybe I should try and get over that if I want to document things fully.

The entrance to the zoo part of the park has of course loads of shacks selling fresh food. The minute we parked the cars we were surrounded by beggars, women and young children. As always it's difficult to ignore them but you have to. Giving them a few rupees is not going to help, you need to try and sort out the causes behind the poverty, on an individual level, there is not a lot that you can do. It's heartbreaking but part of India, this place makes you become a lot more coldhearted, it's the only way otherwise you'll just go mad.

We went for the grand safari which involved queuing for an hour or so and then getting onto an old bus with a lot of grills over the windows. I think they may have gone a little overboard as it made it difficult to see. Luckily I was right by a window and there was a small gap in the mesh through which I could take some photos.

First we went through a part of the park that had all the different types of deer. By this time it was about midday so there was not much activity from the wildlife:

The parts of the park that you can visit are divided up into several sections, with different animals in each section. After the deer we saw some bears:

They have some lion in the park too, this is a youngster bred in the park, he's about two years old:

And then we saw tigers, lots of tigers:

They really are fantastic animals.

While this was just a small park, the scenery was beautiful, with stony hills and ridges covered in exotic vegetation. It's convinced me that I really need to go to one of the larger reserves and see some of the real jungle. I'm thinking of maybe Nagarhole or Kambini, both of which are over six hours drive away. I will keep you posted.

Americans abroad

2006-04-23T13:43:00.000+02:00

So, last weekend three people from the New York office arrived to do the training for a new function that is starting up here. They are nice guys but they do confirm that the image of the overweight loud American is not just a negative stereotype. Two of them refuse to try the food, insist on using bottled water to brush their teeth and when we visited the Infosys campus, I had to persuade them that it was safe to ask for ice-cubes in their drinks.

I mean, yes, outside of the major cities and when you are not in a nice four star hotel like we are then you should be careful, but we haven't been in any areas where it is that risky and in fact it's probably a good idea to get a little bit of tap water into the system to get used to it. They are of course horrified by the poverty but are surprised by the fact that there are some lovely areas and that our hotel has electricity. Today we went out to a nature reserve just south of the city and it was the first time I'd seen what the small villages are like and it's tough. I think that may have been too much for them as there was mumbling about never leaving the hotel again.

Like I said, they are nice people but I'm never going traveling any length of time with them. The constant complaining would result in deaths, either mine or theirs. One of them mentioned the fact that there is no poverty in the US. I held my tongue and didn't get involved in that discussion, I need to work with them for the next couple of months.

Typo

2006-04-22T12:43:00.000+02:00

This amused me in this mornings paper.

Traffic

2006-04-16T06:24:00.000+02:00

There was piece in the paper today about the proposed ring road around Bangalore, the final line terrified me: PRR has been designed keeping the next 30 years' traffic increase in view in such a way that the carriageway can be expanded up to 22 lanes.

22 lanes? Are they insane? With the way people drive over here that would be at least 56 actual lines of traffic.

Food

2006-04-15T19:05:00.000+02:00

Yesterday evening I had a very nice Japanese meal at a place called Dahlia on Church street. There was a table of guys from Google who were the cliched geeks: skinny white guy, slightly cross eyed with thick glasses, skinny Indian guy with long hair in a ponytail, older, slightly fat guy with bald head and silly facial hair, all of them slurping food and showing little to no social skills. I thought they were great.

Tonight I had a good Chinese meal at Mainland China, also on Church Street. They didn't have the crab dish that I wanted so instead I had soft shelled crab which I had never tried before and will do again as it was lovely. The shell really is soft and you just eat the whole thing. I will go back for more at some point.

By the way, I realise that I talk about eating a lot but I have been using the gym in the hotel almost every day and have gotten into the habit of running five kilometers on the treadmill. I've lost about a kilo so far, there's a few more to go, but it's a start.

Oh, they have the worst lounge singer ever in the lobby bar at the hotel. He has a keyboard playing very cheesy backing while he murders the worst songs in the world. When he started singing Chris De Burgh I almost laughed out loud. He's a little Indian guy in a shiny suit and while his voice is not bad I suppose, his attempts to sound like the original singer of the song really are very funny.

Back to normal

2006-04-15T18:16:00.000+02:00

So, on Friday, everything was back to normal and it was as if nothing had happened the day before. But of course things had happened. The death toll currently stands at eight, including one policeman and there are a couple of hundred injured. But it's strange how the city has gone right back to normal, almost instantly. I went out for a walk and a bite to eat on Friday night and it really did feel like all that had taken place in another city. People were certainly pretending that the previous day never happened as they thronged down Brigade Road, shopping bags in hand.

The newspapers are of course full of discussion about what happened and why. There were rumours that 'troublemakers' were being bused into the city from the outskirts on Wednesday already. The Chief Minister of Karnataka said that he believes that the violence was politically motivated and while not saying so directly, hints heavily that it was the opposition who arranged it to embarrass his government. There is another theory that the death of the actor was a catalyst for the poorest people to vent their anger and frustration against a city that is becoming increasingly divided. Of course there is also the fact that crowds can act in surprising ways.

This being India, it is quite possible that all of the above are true and that the reasons for the violence are even more complex and may never all come to light. What is clear is that there was a lot more to it than just an over-reaction to the passing of a popular actor.

n.b. Of course the photos are not mine. As I said, I did think about going to have a look in town on Thursday but it would have been risky and I chickened out.

A wise man

2006-04-15T18:05:00.000+02:00

I *heart* Warren Ellis. Not only did he write on of the best comics ever but he come out with stuff like this : And now, it is Easter: the day Jesus turned into chocolate and the disciples ate him. Or something.

Rajkumar

2006-04-13T08:55:00.000+02:00

So, I'm not in the office today, let me explain why.

Yesterday, one of the most famous south Indian actors, a gentleman called Rajkumar passed away. Once news got out, thousands of people took to the streets to express their sorrow. His house was mobbed by people trying to see his body, and when it was moved to a larger location, the ambulance was surrounded by people who eventually ripped the doors off it to get a glimpse of the corpse.

In other part sof the city, crowds were enforcing mourning by blocking roads and occasionally getting violent and setting fire to tires and throwing rocks at cars. This went on for almost all of the afternoon and evening yesterday. It was recommended that I stay in the office a little longer until things had died down so that I could get back to the hotel safely. The cars that the company provided to bring the staff home all had pictures of the recently deceased on the windows to show respect and hopefully mean that they would not be attacked. At about seven in the evening, it seemed that the center of town was clear again so I left with my driver, who had also put a picture on the windshield. The drive was surprisingly fast as there were relatively few cars on the roads. All of the shops were closed and we did pass one group of cars with flags flying from the roof who were shouting abuse at cars passing in the opposite direction who did seem to be showing the proper respect. There were a lot more police than usual on the roads closer t the city centre and the gates of the hotel had been closed.

It seems that things were worse in some of the poorer parts of the city. Here are a couple of press reports. First from the somewhat sensationalist Deccan Herald and then from the Indian Times.

The funeral is today and I received a call from the senior guy at the office recommending that I stay in the hotel as there will be chaos on the roads and there is always a risk of the crowds of mourners getting carried away. In the unlikely event that I got caught in something, only speaking English could make it more difficult to diffuse the situation. So I'm here at the hotel and I can't do any work as I don't have a work laptop. Sitting outside earlier I did hear some sirens in the distance and the occasional sounds of large crowds but things seem to be strangely quiet. I'd go and have a look closer to the funeral but I guess that would be a little risky.

I've just spoken to the guys at the office, apparently a bit of a mob turned up to try and enforce the day of grieving that has been declared. They stopped some of the people going into the office and some stones have been thrown and a couple of windows broken. Apparently everybody is ok though, although the people on the New York shift have not been able to make it in so that process won't be run here today.

Saturday

2006-04-08T12:33:00.000+02:00

I slept for a remarkably long time (well, for me anyway) and go out of bed at 9am. A leisurely breakfast and then I went out for a long walk. Yes, I remembered to put on sun cream!

I walked along MG road for a while but then took one of the side streets to see what things are
like in the more 'normal' parts of the city, away from the hotels and offices.

As you can see from the photo, things are different more intense than on the main streets

The sheer amount of people is a little overwhelming, you almost feel a little spaced out. I guess it just takes some getting used to.

I went to the city market which is huge and sells all sorts of things. There is an indoor part that is full of small stalls selling flowers and petals. I think it was a bit dark for photos, but I may go back at some point and give it a try. Outside there are farmers selling their tiny crops of vegetables and thousands of people.

I also visited my first temple. You had to leave your shoes outside and sometime the ground was so hot, you couldn't stand still. The towers on the Hindi temples are beautiful and covered in figures.

And to get back to the hotel I took my first autorickshaw ride. Which was a surprisingly pleasant experience and a great way to see the city.

I took loads more pictures which you can see here.

First day at work

2006-04-07T18:45:00.000+02:00

Well, I survived my first day. Actually it was quite quiet, which was to be expected. My driver picked me up at 9 this morning and it turns out to be the same one I had in January. Traffice was surprisingly ok (comparativly), apparantly it's the school summer holidays until June which explains that. I managed to get my work e-mail set up. I'm in the same room I was before, they should be installing a proper desk over the weekend. I was having a brief meeting when the door jammed shut, leaving five of us trapped in there, it took their facilities guys 20 minutes to free us :-)

Got back at about six, went to the gym for an hour or so (yes, I went yesterday too!) then had a lovel meal of crab and prawn at the Coconut Grove on Chuch street. Tired now, so off to bed. Will go out and explore the city a bit over the weekend, I may go and visit the bull temple.

New Computer

2006-04-06T16:03:00.000+02:00

I almost forgot, I bought myself a new computer before leaving. It's really rather nice.

2006-04-06T15:43:00.000+02:00

Just a quick post from room 328, my home for the next three months.

It's much hotter than it was in January, it was about 36 or so in the afternoon. I went for a walk to get used to things over here again. As usual there were a couple of autorickshaw drivers who tried to get me to go to a tourist shop. One of them was quite insistant but you just need to keep ignoring them and walk off. When I go back I actuallyt spent an hour in the gym. I will try to do that every day from now on! Tonight I'm just going to have a quiet bite to eat and then try to get to sleep at a decent hour.

2006-04-05T07:40:00.000+02:00

Just a quick post from the Lufthansa lounge at Brussels airport.

Of course that means that I'm actually on my way to India. We still haven't sorted the tax thing out yet, but I'm going on a three month business trip, hopefully we can make it more permanent shortly.

Of course I didn't sleep very well and woke up at 05.40 this morning. The driver picked me up at 7.00 and now I have time to take it easy and have some coffee. Spent the last few days in a appartment right next to the Cinquantenaire which was quite nice. The weekend was quite tought what with the whole moving thing. Next time I'm living in a place with a lift, my legs still hurt. There was also a reasonable amount of eating and drinking over the weekend so I could do with some rest!

I'll do a longer post when I get to Bangalore.

Stuff

2006-03-30T22:24:00.000+02:00

Well, tomorrow is my last day in my old job. As of next week I'll be taking up my new role although I don't yet know what continent I'll be living in. I have a feeling that the tax issue is not going to get sorted by Wednesday, so I'll be here a little longer. I have a furnished apartment ready as of Saturday in the rue Stevin, which is right near where I live now. The landlord popped by, said there was no need to do an 'etat des lieux' as I'd been here over five years and he is going to completely renovate the place, so that is one less thing to worry about.

Had a very nice three hour lunch with some of the people I like the most at work. They gave me a lovely card with wolves on it and a book token for Waterstones, I can see that getting used very quickly!

I'll be working from home in the morning as I need to wait for the 'petits riens' to come and pick up my bedroom furniture. They were supposed to do that on Wednesday but they didn't have a large enough van... I called today to see if they could give me an approximate time but was told "between 8 and 12" which is nice and precise...

Right, bed time I think.